Decisions
by AngelWhiteRoses
Summary: When a situation arises, they have to make a decision about the future. Can the do it without ruining what they both waited so long for? One Shot! GS


**Disclaimer:** I don't own them.

**A/N:** Thanks to Chris for the great beta. And before the flames start at the end, it's open for a reason.

**Decisions**

Grissom pulled into a parking space in the park. Taking a look around, he saw who he was looking for. She was seated on a picnic table with her back towards him. He could see how deep in thought she was. All he could do is watching her from the safety of his Denali. His mind had been working overtime ever since she had told him. He didn't know what to think or do; all he did was stand there with his mouth open. His heart had broken into a million pieces as he watched her walk away. After he finally got his head out on the clouds he went searching for her.

Grissom knew he had to go talk to her and the sooner the better. After exiting the vehicle he walked over to her. Sliding to sit next to her, he took her hand and held it tight. "I'm sorry…it's just a big shock that's all. I wasn't expecting something like this." He looked over at her. He wondered if his words got through to her, because her head was still down and he could see she was thinking hard. "We can't talk about this if you don't talk to me."

It took her a few moments before she was able to speak to him. "I…I'm sorry. "You needed to know." She could barely speak due to the tremble in her voice.

Grissom just nodded as he looked at her. He didn't know how to talk to her about something like this. He knew he couldn't tell her what to do or what to think about the situation. He couldn't stop her if her decision was different then what his would be, nor could he make it for her. "What do you want to do?" Grissom touched her arm with his free hand in hopes it would comfort her. However, it didn't seem to help.

"I don't know." She pulled her hand out of his and pressed them between her knees.

"I'll go with you to the clinic if you want an abortion." Sure what he wanted but he did know if it was his choice he would be confused as well.

"No." She just sat there shaking her head.

Grissom looked at her. He didn't understand why she was pushing him away. Surely she would know he would support her in any decision. "No you don't want me there or no you don't want to terminate the pregnancy."

"The latter. It's just…it's a life Gil and I don't think I could just kill it." She took a few deep breaths while a tear slipped down her face. She was so tormented over the decision. She kept running them all through her mind. As much as each option seemed like the right one at the same time they each seemed like the wrong one. "Could you?"

"It's not my decision." Grissom heard her sob a bit. "I'm not being helpful am I?" He thought for a moment. "Well you know about my Osteosclerosis. It's hereditary and I would be afraid to pass it on. It's something I think we should take in considering. I have to bring the age thing in again. I'm not a young man Sara. I'm in my fifties. I know your age isn't a major factor but you've got your career to think about. It's a hard decision."

"There's a difference between having a child that could go deaf sometime in their life time then a medical problem that would leave a child in pain their whole life." She gave him a harsh look, then quickly turned away. "Just because you aren't younger doesn't mean you can't be a good father and I can still have a career and have a baby. It's not like it's the end of the world. At least I don't think it is."

"Alright…no abortion. What about adoption? There are plenty of good families looking for a child. Open adoption would allow us to make the decision to pick the family ourselves. By doing that we would know the child is getting the best home." Grissom watched her softly shake her head.

"What if we get it wrong? You can't always tell there is abuse in a family. I don't know if I could risk that. What if we get it wrong and we put the child in more danger than what he or she should be. We see it everyday. Families that look good from the outside but only after weeks of looking into it we find out it's anything but." She shrugged her shoulders. "What if we don't find the right one?"

"What if we do? What if we find the most wonderful family and they can give our child a great life, where he or she can grow up very happily?" Grissom knew she was right, they could very well not find a family that meet their expectations; however they could very well meet a great one. They were in a better potion to research the people than other people would be.

"I don't know."

"What about keeping it? I have to bring the age thing in again, it would be hard to start a family this late in life but I'll do it if that's what you want. Is that what you want?" He hurt knowing he couldn't do anything to comfort her. "Honestly, it sounds like want you want. You don't want an abortion, you don't want to discuss adoption, there isn't many options left after that."

"I just know what I want right now." She stood up and paced a bit. "Keeping the baby…what if I screw the baby up. I don't know how to be a mom; I'm not good with children. And what if I do things like my parents did to me. I don't want to hurt a child." Tears streamed down her eyes. It was making her hurt inside. She didn't think it should be this difficult to know what one would want to do with a baby.

Grissom took her by the shoulders and made her stop moving around. "You will never be like your parents Sara. You are a wonderful person and mother. Children love you, they are drawn to you. I know if you choose to keep this baby you will work hard to do everything right because you're like that." He hated to see her so upset. He knew she could be a wonderful mother if she wanted to be.

"I'm scared. I don't want to mess this up." Sara stepped closer to Grissom, allowing him to hold her in his arms. "I feel I screwed everything up."

"Hey." Grissom pulled away and looked at her. "You didn't do anything wrong. Accidents happen, it's not like we weren't careful. If it's anyone's fault it was mine. I probably initiated it anyway."

"I think I just need time to think." Sara looked him deep in the eyes. She was terrified he might not care what she wanted or would want her to have the answer now.

"Take your time, I'm not going anywhere." Grissom pulled her back into a hug and held her tight. He wasn't going to lose her now that he finally allowed himself to have her. He wasn't over the moon about him maybe being a father soon, but he wouldn't walk out on Sara. He didn't know what he wanted either. But he was happy with her making the final decision since it was her body. "Let's go get something to eat, and we can talk about anything you want. Nothing needs to be decided right now. I doing want you to make a big decision like this simply because you think it's what I want."

---

A few weeks later Sara walked through the front door of her and Grissom's home and he met her. "How'd court go?" The last weeks she had struggled to make her mind up on what she wanted to do about the pregnancy. She had ruled out abortion. It just wasn't something she was prepared to do.

"Good." He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I wanted to be there for you today you know. The DA was trying to hurry it along to get to me so I could, but you know how things go." He was truly upset that he wasn't there to see his child on the screen moving around. He had promised Sara he would be there for her no matter what she decided to do and he broke it.

"I know." Sara handed Grissom photos from the ultrasound. She knew if he could've been there he would've. "I went for a walk afterwards to clear my head. I've made a decision; I know what I want to do." She looked him straight in the eyes and smiled at him.

**--The end--**


End file.
